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Words have power

We invest in ideas, in words, in the things we can imagine, believe, hope for, we do not invest in the tangible, we invest in words that can create a reality.

I had the pleasure of spending some time with a leader in a political party, running for the Turkish parliament. I loved her passion, her ideas, her hopes. As we spoke, we went on to discuss the hero’s journey and why most politicians believe they can save us. In reality, we do not believe them, we feel what they say is more of the same and we lose interest.

Words create worlds, remember that. You have the ability to achieve many things by using the right words, to build, create, swoop the people, destroy lives, it is all done with words.

Our conversation drifted and we started thinking about messaging the political ideas in such a way that invites the voters to be part of the hero’s journey.

One person can make a difference, one person can change the world. It would be interesting to see what happens in elections all over the world, whether good might still win. You see, good takes time, a long time to create, bad comes in and destroys it all with one sentence. Credibility, authenticity, integrity, those need time to build. Killing that truly takes minutes.

And we can make a change, we can decide to be positive, we can decide to wait before we pour our anger onto social media, we can ask to see more facts. We can decide we want positive instead of negative. The funny thing, I know many people who are actively trying to help but are using negative words to do it. I believe in everything we do, both sides have a part to play, so both have some fault when things go south.

I had the chance to spend an amazing time in Cappadocia, turkey. A one of a kind, special, even magical experience. During dinner, we are all happy, laughing, exchanging stories when a friend sent me an Instagram message. This was one of those moments that reminded me why I usually travel without my Sim card, to avoid these messages.

And it was small, even too stupid to mention but he saw one of my stories, without seeing the rest and mentioned not everything should be posted. He did not see the next stories for context, he did not say it in a nice or ugly way, he just said what was on his mind. One sentence, threw me off, I had to look, what did I post?

He could have said it in so many ways, but even when I said that’s fine, no need to comment on everything you see, he got angry.

Now choose, you can say things a certain way, you can get angry, you can be mindful, you can do whatever the F you want, but it will always be better to be kind. “hey, saw your story, would reconsider if it’s relevant here, seems a bit off” would probably get a different reaction and appreciation, but he wanted to tell me, not help me.

When we decide to fire away, and trust me, I’m pretty good at that, we have no control how the other sides will take it. What could be a short sentence for us, could be a long journey for our friends on the other side.

A similar experience with my cousin as we were driving around Istanbul and he mentioned he saw one of my talks: “yeah, it was OK, not bad”. I take pride in the work I do. My workshops and talks are being shared, my calendar is getting more bookings, I keep improving and all he had to say was OK?

He could have said love it, like it, it was very good but you know…. And give me feedback. But he did not say it for feedback, he said it to say it. Two years ago it might have even crushed me. I was concerned about my speaking, the amount, the subject. I had put in so much time and effort to improve and it is still and probably always will be a work in progress. But he could choose to do good, he chose not to.

It is the Jewish new year and it is time for resolutions.

For me, it is about doing better, less negative, accepting the other side in a certain way. I will always be happy to get feedback, this is how we can all improve but I do not want negative vibes. Positive words can elevate, can cure, can change people for the better, can bring people together.

It is not an easy ask or task, it is a daily effort. Make someone smile, compliment one word, say thank you. And more than everything, know this, the world tends to reward the good, not the bad.

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Tough love and a fresh perspective

If you could get one tip, one piece of advice, that one small thing that makes a change, moves the needle, or helps you gain clarity, it was all worth it.

We were sitting on the edge of the cliff and the view was amazing, breathtaking. The combination of sun and wind on my face reminded me why getting out of the city is so important. Looking at the mountains before us, I told my friend I felt tired. I was exhausted from the urban race, running my company and the day in, day out hustle and grind from dusk till dawn – literally working my life away.

He looked at me and smiled. He had just turned 62 and had a successful consulting business helping CEOs of major companies improve the way they run their businesses, teams and how they make decisions.

And me? I was in my mid 30’s working hard at my digital marketing agency and feeling tired. It felt as if he was over those mountains and I hadn’t even begun the journey to cross them.

He smiled and said, “Can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” I replied eager to hear what he had to say.

“Can I give you what we call tough love? I will tell you the brutal truth, the way I see things but remember I’m saying this because I care and have your best interests at heart.”

“Please do. I won’t get offended or anything.”

I was certain he was about to share the secret to success – that trick we all hear about on social media, that one hack to rule them all. My eyes opened up, my ears attentive to his every breath, as the very next might carry a genius tip. He looked at the stone in his hand, passed his thumb over it and threw it far away. Then he looked at me and said in his assertive and soothing voice: “You’re too fat. You need to lose weight.”

Not sure what I had just heard, I decided to wait a moment before I spoke, absorbing this Mr. Miagi, karate kid, ‘wax on, wax off’ concept. What is this mind trick?

Well, I had been eating quite badly in the few months prior, and I was barely sleeping 4 hours each night. The most sporty thing I had done recently was to hold a pint of beer for a few hours at the local bar. Damn. I’m fat huh?

He stood up, reached out his hand to help me up and hugged me. I couldn’t believe it, one act of tough love, one sentence – what an impact.

All I needed was an outside perspective, someone telling me how they see things. But, one might ask, how is that connected to my business?

Sometimes we need to get that one tip, one piece of advice, that one small thing that makes a change, moves the needle, or helps you gain clarity, it was all worth it.

For me that resulted in leaving work every day at 6:30p.m. and going for a walk. Eventually this turned into a run, which then led to a change in my eating and sleeping habits, less beer drinking and being more positive in general. Setting a work schedule meant I needed to be more productive, choose what’s really important and focus more. These activities resulted in my business doubling over the following 12 months.

We all need a fresh perspective, sometimes from someone we do not know or who has a completely different background.

When you feel it’s time to make a change in your business, reach out. I will listen and see if I can share my experiences in marketing, sales and branding to help you improve your business or mindset. I promise to give you tough love when necessary and if you start exercising or changing the way you do things, I will know I have chosen my profession and passion well.